


The rain washes away the pain of yesterday

by Feelingsinwinter



Series: Under the Rain [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationship, I'm not sure but I prefer to be certain and sure, Kinda, M/M, Mention of Bucky barnes at the end, Sad Story, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Hopeful Ending, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Ty's an asshole, and he will win this fight, be aware of the tag before reading, but you know that already, he fucking will, it can be heavy, it will all be ok, it's concerning for me, please, psychological abuse, tony stark is a fighter, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 23:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12852033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feelingsinwinter/pseuds/Feelingsinwinter
Summary: There's a story behind every drop of rain washing away Tony's pains and sadness, bringing up smiles and opening the door to laughs and happiness. There's hope when the rain leaves and the sun shines.Please, be aware of the tags before reading this. Take care of yourself and be safe.Prequel for "Under the Rain (I met you)".





	The rain washes away the pain of yesterday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [natalemarine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalemarine/gifts).



> Hi everyone ! 
> 
> I wasn't really expecting to write more "that fast" (I know, it's been months already but whatever) for this "universe" (I'm not sure it applies but I don't know what else to use XD). 
> 
> This story takes place before [Under the Rain (I met you)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11966409) so you can either read this one before moving to the next one in timeline if you haven't read it before or follow the way I posted and read this one later. 
> 
> This fiction is a little bit heavy on the emotional side, especially if you know someone ou have yourself experienced emotional abuse, please be aware of the tags before starting to read and please be safe and take care of yourself. I hesitated a long time before posting it because it's a little bit... much, for me, I mean. I've read worse but, still, it's heavy and I'm not comfortable with the possibility of making others feeling that way too. 
> 
> I posted this as a gift for Natalemarine because they, and an anonymous called Runrun, asked about Tony's past and why exactly he was there, what happened before. I hope you will find this and like it! 
> 
> I'm thinking of, maybe, doing a next part in this serie about "after" but I'm not sure yet. Not because I don't want to (I do) but because I don't know what I'd write so there's still this possibility. If you're interested, subscribe to the serie and, hopefully, you'll get an email if I ever end up writing this.
> 
> So many things to Dappydou for being such a good Bêta! Thank you so much love! <3
> 
> Lots of love, dears! <3

It was impressive, Tony thought as he stared at the screen of Ty’s laptop, how realization could feel like a slap across the face.

He wasn’t very fond of social media, there wasn’t much to tell for him and not a lot of people he wanted to follow anyway. The last time he had talk to a friend was so long ago he couldn’t even come up with a fucking approximate date, let alone a precise one. On the other hand, weirdly enough, he remembered quite well the aftermath. It had been hell.

Tony loved Rhodey with all his heart. At the time, though, he had thought chatting once in awhile on computer or texting should be enough and it kinda was, though sometimes more than others. It also caused less trouble that way. Tony only realized now how wrong that was.

The abuse, they said, was discreet and could sneak up on you without you realizing. And the longer the relationship, the harder it was to tell.

Tony couldn’t tell when or how it had started, not even how he had let it happen when he had been strong enough to fight back against his father. Howard had been a dick, a physical abuser and Tony knew the signs, knew what to avoid and how to fight that kind of aggression.

He wasn’t prepared for the psychological one.

He hadn’t been prepared for fighting against insidious comments, against a shouting match started over nothing. At some point, Tony had started avoiding the situation to avoid the shouting. But then, the situation became situations, became more and more and more numerous until all Tony could do, day after day, was to avoid doing anything. Even that, though, had become subject to critical and mean words… but it wasn’t as bad as if he had done something wrong.

Like going out for example. Or saying something wrong. Or at the wrong moment. Or the wrong way. Like seeing friends. Like inviting friends at home. Like buying groceries and not taking the right product of the right mark. Like not knowing where something was. Like not being able to prevent something before it happened.

The list went on and on and the more Tony could add to it, the more sick he felt. Every answer was the wrong one, every move was the wrong one, there wasn’t anything Tony could do right.

Except, he thought, looking at the eleventh line of the post, when he made things with the specific intention to please. Or when Ty felt like being nice, which could happen anytime of the day, any day of the week. It was with those moments, dispatched here and there, that Ty had kept his hold on Tony, maybe. By being pleasant once in awhile, enough to make Tony feel safe, appreciated, loved maybe. By offering gifts, here and there. Expensive gifts. The kind that were supposed to prove how much Ty loved Tony. “Look how much I spent for you,” and yet it was a way to force Tony to be nice to him. Nicer. “I buy you everything you want, now you have no choice but to be nice to me and do everything I ask.” It wasn’t said but…that’s how it was , Tony realized.

The slurs and insults flew so often, Tony didn’t even pay them any mind anymore. They still hurt but he doesn’t try to fight back, not when it means it’ll get worse. Everything could be met by worse, in any way, sooner or later.

Ty had been nice at first. Someone with whom Tony could joke and go out, they kind of knew the same circle since they had the same start at life. Rich and good looking. Ty had a wicked sense of humour and was nice in bed, he had good taste. It was fun, sometimes, to watch a movie with him and scoff at the same things. Now though… now everything had taken a bad turn. Watching a movie was stressful, going with Ty for the groceries was worse even and Tony tried as best as he could to avoid talking to him.

When has his life taken such a turn? Where he couldn’t even talk to his supposed boyfriend? Where he couldn’t even voice his thoughts without it backfiring on him horribly? Where he couldn’t even be himself without it being a bad thing and him being a bad person? The post was the final period putting a final slay at the lie Tony had been living for so long. It said it all. How he could recognize Ty’s arrival by the sound of his car parking in front of the building, the jolt of fear it made him feel. How Tony dreaded the sound of Ty’s keys jingling at the door then the one of the key entering the lock.

There was so much and Tony felt like he hadn’t even realized it all.

***

It was one thing to realize how wrong his life was, another one to realize it as it happens. How it had affected him.

Tony was nothing if not witty, he always had a wicked come back on the tip of his tongue, ready to fire and spit spat at whoever wronged him. That had changed. Now Ty’s criticisms and insults stressed him, the witty comeback never came and if they did, the sole thought of giving it voice frightened him because of the consequences he knew would come. Tony had feared his father’s hits, the pain of fists against his skin, of bruises and cuts but he had never feared it as much as he was afraid of Ty.

His looks, his tongue, his whole body speaking for him. Of disgust, of disdain and judgement. Or the worst of them; how Ty would ignore him and refuse to acknowledge him. The size of the mistake didn’t matter, big or small, if Ty felt like ignoring Tony, he would just do it and while Tony felt like dirt on a daily basis, being ignored felt worse.

Now though… now that Tony was aware of it, he could fight back and maybe right the wrongs. Maybe Ty didn’t made it on purpose and it was just a mistake Tony had let happen. Maybe he was just too much of a coward. After all, it takes two to make change a relationship from good to... that.

If Tony was the one who chose to be a victim, then it was his fault and he had to get out of this role he chose for him. He just had to straighten his back and make it better.

***

It wasn’t Tony’s fault.

Fighting back had been a bad, bad idea. In the worst case Tony had in mind, Ty would have started to hit him. Ty didn’t. He just became meaner in his comments, insults flew more often than not and every criticism was sharper than it had ever been before. And while there was no fist flying, Ty wasn’t against pushing Tony out if his way, not matter if there was enough space in the hallway to just go around him.

Ty dropped pretending to care and stopped buying Tony’s favorite jam, took the one he knew Tony didn’t like. Started living like Tony wasn’t there anymore, barely acknowledging him aside from when Ty needed him.

***

Leaving had been a good idea. Brilliant, even. What was less smart however was probably the way he had clothed himself before heading out, or the absence of an umbrella as the sky was pouring out water like there was no tomorrow.

Wearing nothing but the clothes on his back, leaving everything at Ty’s appartement because Tony wanted nothing to remind him of this part of his life, Tony had been walking around the city for the last hour, going as far away as he could but the rain was strong. He couldn’t even see from two feet away.

The cold, though, did not matter. Nor did the feeling of his jeans sticking to him, the freezing drop of water running down his neck and back. Damn, nothing matter aside from the road stretching in front of him and feeling like he was allowed to go wherever he wanted.

The fear lingered, sitting heavily on his stomach, the sense of freedom felt like wings on Tony’s back. The air felt fresher as he breathed it in, the rain liberating. Tony didn’t know where he was going to sleep tonight but it didn’t matter either. He knew the troubles were only starting, everything would drop on him later but for now all he wanted was to feel his decision anchoring itself.

He wasn’t coming back. Better not, considering Ty would throw a bad fit when he’ll realized Tony had sabotaged pretty much everything computerized in the house. Ty’s laptop was an unusable mess but it would take time for him to realize how bad it was screwed. The TV would never find any channel any time soon, let alone Netflix. The microwave was only waiting for something to just blow up in the bastard’s face. Let’s not talk about the email Tony had sent on Ty’s smartphone, heavy with a nice little virus that would corrupt pretty much any file on the device. Nothing would lead to Tony but Ty would know and nothing to prove it. Ty hadn’t be physically abusive, not by much, but Tony was sure he’d change his modus operandi after that.

The thing was… Tony was ready. He’d deal with his father before, he could deal with Ty any time. He had nothing to fear anymore. Just find a place to rest in and then he’d move on. Maybe say hello to Rhodey, Pepper and Happy. Not before he’d found a place to live in, though, no way he was going there and letting them know he was homeless. They’d take him in in a heartbeat, he knew it and didn’t want to be a burden.

It wasn’t the only reason, though.

Tony needed to take care of himself first. Find a job or go back to school, maybe both, he was smart, he could do it. Even if he had to go through hell, he’d find a way to deal with all that. He could handle it.

Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk was probably not the smartest idea but… it was such a great thing to do. Just enjoy the moment, the possibilities without walls and Ty’s face drew on them. Tony tipped his head back, letting the rain pour down on his face, drenching him further, running down his collar. He was going to be sick but fuck if he cared. He could do anything, go anywhere, Ty wouldn’t be the one blocking him. Others, yeah maybe, certainly even, but they wouldn’t put him down like Ty had.

Tony wasn’t going to let that happen. Never ever again.

The fear was strong but his determination was stronger, he’d do it. Smiling as he breathed in the scent of rain and dirty city, Tony felt someone colliding with him and opened his eyes back, following the man running to the nearest shop to get cover.

Tony’s smile widened.

Maybe he’d be like him one day, running from one place to another, with purpose and people to see, with a job or studies, with homeworks or files to go through. Maybe blueprints with his name on it, with his patterns and his inventions.

As he pulled his hair back from his face, Tony saw a man from the corner of his eyes. The deep pang of panic at the idea of Ty having found him already made Tony lose his footing for a second.

Until he realized the man was nothing like Ty.

Staring at Tony and frozen on the spot despite the rain pelting him, the man was tall with broad shoulders, a thick leathered jacket and the hood of a warm hoodie pulled over his head covering him from the cold. Strands of black hair stuck to the man’s strong jaw, drop of water clinging to his lashes as grey eyes stared at Tony. He was handsome, beautiful even, despite the general homeless look.

Realizing he had been smiling all along, Tony’s smile grew wider as he stared back at the man.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://feelingsinwinter.tumblr.com/) ! <3


End file.
